How To Avoid Fresher’s Flu (Probably)
A slight hint of uncertainty may be detected by the observant reader in the title – we’re not actually too sure if there is any real way to avoid fresher’s flu. Sorry, but Fresher’s flu is awful. It waits, all year round, for one little week right at the beginning of term and then drops upon students everywhere with frightening reliability and determination. There’s no way to avoid it but a few tried and tested methods may help slow its inexhaustible advance.
The tactics adopted by students everywhere to fight the terrifying flu are the same as those learned by Biologists as the “four F’s” necessary for survival – Fleeing, Fighting, Feeding and… erm… Mating. These four pillars of protection may help. A bit. But mostly they’re there to make sure the flu was worth the week. That’s the important thing.
Fleeing
One tried-and-tested way to avoid the dreaded disease is to stay away from it – barricade your doors and windows, speak to no one, and don’t go to lectures until the dust has settled some time mid-November. This is probably a little extreme, and we don’t suggest it. What we do suggest, though, is a few nights off the booze during Fresher’s week and some quiet movie-watching with a blanket and a hot drink – it’ll help a lot more than you think.
Along the same lines, try not to drink too much on the nights you do go out to the bars and clubs – know your limits! Everyone has a limit so don’t be “that guy” who ended up face down in the kebab shop or “that girl” that ended up face down in the kebab.
Fighting
Fight the flu! Stay positive, and don’t give in to it – psychology has a lot to do with sickness, and staying healthy in your head will help a lot with your body. Studies have shown that the Fresher’s flu has an awful lot to do with homesickness and the placebo effect – if you don’t think you have the flu, you probably won’t contract it. Mind over matter; it’s that simple. Hopefully.
Feeding
An important one, this. Passing out in your kebab means you won’t eat your kebab. Which may well end up being a good thing. Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and don’t end up living off toast and ham sandwiches or ready meals because it’s so much easier than cooking. You need vitamins and all of that other magical good stuff that sits unappreciated inside a raw pepper. Eat properly and try to avoid the late-night takeaway. Your body (and your wallet) will thank you later.
On another note, make sure to stay hydrated! Water is the best thing for you and is really the only thing us humans are supposed to drink. We don’t want to get overly hippy here (man) but water really is the very best thing you can put into your body. A beer for breakfast is very rock-and-roll, but Johnny Cash didn’t start off his career doing anthropology in Norwich, and you aren’t finishing yours as a musical legend (sorry). Wake up, get your water, and appreciate it. Again, your body will thank you later.
Mating
And by this, of course, I mean exercise. Go for a jog or a cycle if you’re feeling up for it, or at least go breathe some air that hasn’t been sharing the same space as the improvised ashtrays and booze-spillages (let alone your unwashed self) of last night. We know, we know, outside is so far away, and so painfully bright – just try to get there and you’ll find it’s nowhere near as difficult to walk as you thought it was. Then go and explore the town or campus – you’re going to be spending a lot of time here, after all.
Then what?
So, there it is, the four pillars that may well save your life (at least for a week or two) if you follow that advice. As we’ve already mentioned, this probably will not work. Sorry, but Fresher’s flu really is awful. Awful! Roughly 90% of all Fresher’s students find themselves sick in one way or another, and that’s just the ones that report it. The other 10% are presumably super-fit, super-lucky, or lying.
So, basically, you’re going to get it. Sorry, there’s not much we can do about that. However, although students haven’t yet worked out how to stop themselves from getting ill, they have worked out what to do with themselves once the dreaded disease takes hold. Sadly, we don’t have anything quite as nifty as the four F’s to describe them, so we’ll just tell it like it is.
Medicine
Don’t underestimate the power of a cup of Lemsip. Other brands are available. This stuff is hot liquid gold for the under the weather student, and there’s nothing better for the body, except, perhaps, the home-made Lemsip that in our humble opinion works even better. This is a Coursefindr recipe, and has been kept a secret for generations – if anyone asks, you didn’t get it from here.
Mix the juice of half a lemon, a pinch of turmeric, a spoonful of honey and hot water in a mug. Stir with a stick of raw ginger. Drink the whole thing. Rinse and repeat until you run out of ingredients. It may have laxative effects, but it’ll certainly clear your head. Again, if anyone asks (particularly a doctor), you didn’t get that information from here.
If Lemsip or the home-made brew isn’t your thing, just take plenty of vitamin tablets and go easy on the painkillers – in the words of J.K Rowling, “Numbing the pain for a while makes it worse when you finally feel it”. Or, in the words of Ted from Scrubs, “Cherish the pain, Ted! It means you’re still alive!” Amen.
Bed
Sleeping is one of the best and weirdest things that us humans do – nobody knows exactly why we sleep; the only fundamental proof that we need to sleep is that we do. Whatever – we need sleep, and it helps people when they’re ill. A lot. Get enough sleep, and preferably at the right time and you’ll feel better for it.
University’s a lot of fun, but remember you’re here to work and working is what you should do – this means getting up early and therefore going to bed at a half-decent time should be a prerogative. Or don’t, if you don’t want to – we can’t stop you, this is just an article. But it really is highly suggested.
Layers
This is standard old-lady advice but it bears repeating – if you’re going into lectures whilst under the weather (and you hopefully are – see Don’ts, below) then bring a few layers with you. A 10am start with a 4pm finish gives the weather a lot of time to re-evaluate its options and decide to start making a mess. Bring a jacket in with you even if it’s a sunny day, and just keep it in your bag or locker. You’ll be grateful for it when you need it, and one day you really will need it.
Alternatively, if you’re feeling trusting, just check the weather and see what the day has got in store for you. But nobody ever does that. Besides, the day you dress according to the weather reports is the day all weather science gets disproved. It’s one of those things.
Don’ts
When you get ill, try not to miss out on lectures if you can. The student who misses his entire first term because he is ill is also very unlikely to pass and continue with his course. Don’t do that. Go in to lectures and stick it out if you possibly can and you’ll be thankful you did come exam season.
Another very, very big don’t is so big, we’re going to put it in bold: Don’t keep acting like nothing is wrong. Nope, not enough. We’re going to go with caps, too: DON’T KEEP ACTING LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG. That should do it, hopefully. Do not continue drinking, socialising and eating rubbish if you know you’re ill. You will – yes, will – get more ill. This is what the flu wants – it’s hoping you’ll drink more, wreck your immune system, and make everything easier for it. Don’t give it the satisfaction.
Know Thy Enemy
There’s more than one strain of Fresher’s flu – generally people get so ill over Fresher’s because they’re being exposed to a load of new people each with their own special individual germs (cute, right?). Google your symptoms and see what special strain you’ve managed to get a hold of. And after that, try not to overreact – if WebMD and similar sites were right every time they suggested an illness, Tim Berners-Lee (the bloke who invented t’interweb) would have more blood on his hands than your average gang-lord.
And Finally
Good luck! And remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.