You’ll get a few different responses from people if you ask them about relationships at university, ranging from “that’s cute” to “why?” to the even less charming “what?” All have a point, mostly (though as far as we can work out the “cute” option depends on the couple). Relationships are hard at the best of times (at least, in our experience) and relationships at university are no different and can be far more dramatic than you might expect.
Having said that, they may be just as dramatic as you’d like them to be. People are all different – that’s what makes relationships so exciting! So, here’s our ten cents on what to expect and how to make a relationship last at university, ranging from the obvious (don’t dump ‘em) to the subtle (dump ‘em). Take it or leave it.
Like all long-distance relationships, this is – and always will be – difficult. Sex is fun, and people often don’t realise how important it is to a relationship. With that in mind, cross-university relationships are hard, particularly when everybody around you starts shacking up and you’ve been waiting on a Skype call for three hours. Not that that’s ever happened to us. Honest.
Skype is good, as are train tickets booked well in advance. Or a car. But this is university, and you shouldn’t spend all of your time outside lectures trying desperately to stay in contact with someone who’s a hundred(ish) miles away. Both of you will have to be relaxed and comfortable with not talking to each other occasionally – it’s healthier that way. That doesn’t mean don’t see them – it just means make sure to remember to be relaxed about your relationship: its worst enemy is your paranoia.
To some extent, the same rules as above apply here (then again, the rules above apply to almost all relationships). Make sure to keep it relaxed! University can be a very busy time, particularly in your later years when the degree starts heating up a little. The best thing to do is acknowledge that and make sure you don’t get too reliant and/or obsessed with each other – you’ll both have a lot of other stuff to do.
A relationship between two people at a university is more or less the same as a relationship between two people in the same place anywhere – there’s no real, special advice from us. Just make sure your degree is never sacrificed for anything – it’s what you’re there for, after all, and it pays to remember that. Do your work first, and stay on top of everything. Playtime comes after. Of course, most people will completely ignore this – it takes more than the faceless writer of an internet article to pull two people apart enough to realise they need to do some work. Most will work it out in their own time. For future reference: we told you so.
This one’s arguably even more difficult than the cross-university relationships. Long distance is hard. It’s no secret. And it’s even harder when one person in the relationship is subjected to a new, fresh, and different environment that the other won’t really be able to associate with all too much. If the relationship’s strong enough and comfortable enough it shouldn’t matter too much where either people are in their lives. The important thing to remember is – as always – to relax and go with the flow. Too much excitement is bad for you, and if it’s meant to be then it shouldn’t be too difficult anyway.
This is meant to be a bit of a “joke section”, but it is quite sweetly how the author of this article’s grandparents met. Granddad was a playa, it seems. The rules have presumably changed a little since they got together, and in general it’s probably quite a bad idea to date a lecturer; however clever and/or mature they are, you’ll risk your degree if anyone ever finds out. And trust us, somebody always finds out.
If you have to date a lecturer though (weird course), make sure to a) tell no-one, b) never, ever, let it affect your degree either negatively or positively and c) DON’T DATE A LECTURER. That’s really all the advice we can give you. Good luck with that one and try not to bring anyone else down with you. Although, if you make it depraved enough you could probably sell the story to The Sun or some other tabloid. “CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR AND STUDENT IN LAB-ORGY HORROR” might sell a few copies.
Don’t date lecturers. That’s what we’ve taken from this article. Oh, and also keep it very relaxed and try not to worry about it too much. It’s a cliché, but clichés tend to be clichés for a reason – French people like bread, Americans are loud, and it’s almost always a good move to be relaxed about a relationship, particularly when it first starts. It’ll set a much more comfortable scene for later on in life if the relationship lasts.
What we mean by this is that we’ve seen too many relationships – both in, out, and around university – that are so exciting and fresh at first that any change from that, even if it is just a more relaxed vibe, will seem like a negative, “losing steam” thing. Don’t get put in that situation – it’s not an enjoyable rut to be stuck in for either of you.
So, there we have it – some advice for relationships at university. Remember, the most important thing is that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be; and if it ends, they probably weren’t worth it anyway. Again, cliché. Again, we don’t care. Good luck!